The last year had been especially difficult during the chagim. Last Yom Kippur was the first time I witnessed my once very physically strong father sit down during the nillah service because of fatigue from the cancer. I was depressed to see this. I will miss sitting with him on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur in shul. This past Succot, he still had enough strength to build a sukkah in his backyard for friends and family to enjoy, as he had always done as far back as I can remember. I will miss building the sukkah with him. Now I will build my own just as he had taught me to fulfill the mitzvah. After he began chemotherapy in Nov, he immediately became very sick. As a result, he spent Chanukah this year in a hospital bed. I will miss lighting the candles with him and reciting the brachot. He spent this past Purim in bed. After going to listen to the reading of the megillah, I returned home to recite it for my dad in his bedroom while he lay in bed. I will miss sitting with him in shul to listen to the reading as he followed in his own little megillah scroll. On Pesach, he was in the hospital for the stem cell transplant. Randy, Sarah, and I went to the hospital to conduct a small seder with my mom and dad. My dad was too weak to lead so I lead the seder that night and sang the songs to try to bring a feeling of yontif to him. I will miss being in my parents’ home on Pesach when my dad led the seder with enthusiasm and delight. This past Shavuot, my dad lay confined to a bed, deeply depressed after coming home from the hospital knowing the transplant had failed and the cancer was rapidly attacking his body. After returning home from shul that day, I leyened the Asseret Hadibrot for him. He listened but he had trouble focusing. I will miss Shabbat dinner with him and my mom erev Shabbat and more recently with Sarah, Randy, Mark, and Micah and I will miss sitting with him Shabbat afternoon to discuss the Dvar Torah, some posuk that interested him in the Parshat, current events, or some issue that I was dealing with.
My dad taught me many things and he did so by example. He taught me the importance of tzedakah. He taught me the importance of avoiding lashon hara, to always be mindful of what you say to avoid hurting others. We discussed this often. He taught me to be kind and thoughtful of others, to be respectful of everyone. He taught me to make one’s life meaningful by helping others without any expectation for anything in return. He was always helping others in both his professional and personal life. For my Bar Mitzvah, he taught me the niginot, the cantillation of the Torah reading. My grandfather, his father, was a chazan who taught him and my dad was very proud to teach me and to listen to me in shul, and I hopefully, Gd willing, will one day be able to teach my children. My dad taught me to garden and to love the soil and to appreciate what Hashem has created for us. My dad taught me an appreciation for math and science. He always sat with me to teach me something. When I was in 4th grade, he sat me down and began teaching me Algebra. My dad was a problem solver, he always like to work on problems. I took a liking to this as well and he would talk to me with pride about how his brother, Uncle Bill, had become an electrical engineer. He always joked that when Uncle Bill came over, he would give me a Calculus problem to solve. My dad inspired me to go into engineering. My dad taught me to love books. Every year, I enjoyed going to the local book fair together and perusing through all the books. My dad taught me many things.
There are numerous things for which I will miss him. We will all deeply miss him.
Martin Tyberg
June 25th, 2008
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